“Can you forgive me?”
Matthew stared in silent confusion, his eyes unblinking as they traced over Dominic’s features, trying to decipher the hidden message that he could feel was behind the question. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and took a slow breath to calm his nerves. “Why do you feel like you need to be forgiven?”
Dominic continued to focus his gaze on Matthew, the small smile on his face unwavering and borderline teasing. “Because of what I’ve done. What I want to do…what I will do.”
Matthew hesitated, trying hard to read his expression and at the same time pushing himself back into his seat in order to further distance himself from the man. “And what have you done to place yourself in sin?”
The blonde gave him a Cheshire grin before turning his body to face Matthew, his left leg hiked up on the bench and his arm thrown over the back of the pew. “Well, for starters, I sell myself for money on occasion.”
Matthew jerked back in surprise. “You’re a prostitute?”
Dominic laughed, his head tossed back and neck exposed. “No, I’m fucking with you. I work at a law firm. Thanks for asking, though.” He continued to snicker quietly to himself, his eyes sparkling as they trailed over Matthew’s face, his head tilting to the side a little.
Matthew was taken aback and stared back at him with his jaw dropped slightly. The man before him was confusing and even though he wasn’t the most apt at reading people, he still tried to figure him out. After a moment, he furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head in the opposite direction as Dominic’s. His back was completely against the wall and he briefly hoped that the man would respect his bubble of personal space. “Wait. Then why are you here? I’ve never seen you before. I know everyone in this town.”
Dominic raised his right shoulder and dropped it in a little shrug. “Friends of the family had another kid. I’m visiting.” He smirked, eyes narrowing as he went against Matthew’s internal prayers and inched a tiny bit closer. “I’ve seen you walking around this place and down by the park the last couple of days and I’m not sorry to say that you’ve intrigued me. I thought I’d stop by and have a chat.”
Names raced around in Matthew’s head as he tried to recall if anyone had a new addition to their family, and his eyebrows shot up when he thought of someone. “You know the Wolstenholmes?”
Dominic nodded shallowly, a lock of hair falling across his forehead. “Yeah, yeah. Went to college with Christopher, but we lost contact for awhile after he left to move in with Kelly. Rang me up a bit ago and we caught up on life. And here I am.”
Matthew began to reply before he remembered the rest of what Dominic had said. He glanced at the blonde before focusing his eyes at the back of the pew in front of him. He could feel the atmosphere change a little, the air between them thickening with something and Matthew knew that Dominic probably had an idea what he was thinking that moment. Dominic’s quiet breathing grew marginally closer and Matthew started fidgeting, his hands clasped tightly in his lap and his palms getting clammy, though he couldn’t exactly figure out why.
“You never answered my question, Father.” His voice was soft and Matthew’s eyes flickered over to him.
The priest ignored that statement. “You said that I, um, intrigued you.” Matthew knew he shouldn’t be curious and should stop their conversation altogether instead of continuing it, but he couldn’t deny that he, too, was wondering what it was that had interested the man.
He practically felt Dominic’s grin as he spoke. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re beautiful, Father?” Matthew whipped his head towards Dominic in shock, finding the blonde’s eyes on him, their gaze warm. “You intrigue me because I find it fascinating one as attractive as you can pledge yourself to a lifetime of servitude and celibacy and the whole shebang.”
“That is very ignorant.” Matthew whispered to his lap.
“Probably, but how so?”
“No, not probably, it is. I thank you for the compliment, but I ‘pledged’ myself to the Lord because of my beliefs. I remain celibate because with a pure body comes a pure mind, of which I feel is necessary to have in order to serve Him as best as I can. I care not for my looks, because they will not win me ascendance. My loyalty to my faith and the love I have for what I do is enough for me, not meaningless…copulation.” Matthew breathed out, glancing up to see Dominic watching him thoughtfully.
“I guess I can respect that, but in all honesty, I think you’d change your mind if you knew what meaningless copulation even felt like.” A ghost of a smile hinted at his lips. “You’re sexy when your feathers get fluffed. Not bad.”
Matthew huffed, borderline exasperated. “This conversation is inappropriate.”
“Not really. Well, at least not yet.” Dominic winked when Matthew frowned at him. “Are you not curious? Even a little?” His voice lowered some.
“I really don’t see why it would matter to you either way.”
“Are you frustrated, Father?” The teasing lilt was back, his voice still quiet.
“Yes. Your perseverance is displeasing.” Matthew pursed his lips and attempted to still his hands, his nerves refusing to calm down.
“What can I say; I have a tendency to be determined when I see something I want.”
Matthew’s heart skipped a beat at the implication, his throat tightening at the sudden deepness present in Dominic’s voice. “I do not think it would be a good idea to further continue this discussion.”
“Why not, Father? Are you nervous?” Dominic continued to slide closer to Matthew, their legs now only a foot apart. The priest pressed against the wall a little, his eyes on Dominic’s as he glared at him with a mixture of pleading as if to beg the man to stop with the sheer force of his stare.
“No. I have no reason to be, because you’re going to leave and I’m going home.”
“Is that an invitation?” Dominic was now twirling his right pointer finger on the bench they sat on, tracing the shapes in the wood while he looked up at Matthew from under his eyelashes.
“What? No! No. I don’t understand why you believe you’re going to pursue anything with me. It is wrong, and I would like to think you’d respect my position enough to step away and leave me alone.” Matthew all but huffed, his eyes wide and indignant.
“How could this be wrong?” Dominic cocked his head to the side, an eyebrow arched. “Pleasure is pleasure, regardless of gender.”
Matthew sighed irritably, glancing upwards before returning his stare to Dominic. “What’s wrong is your perseverance. I am a priest. Understand that and please let me out.” Matthew looked pointedly at him and made to stand up. Dominic crossed his legs, his foot effectively blocking Matthew’s path.
“Answer me this, if you will.”
Matthew sighed again and sat back down, resuming his position against the wall, hands once again tightly folded in his lap. Lips pursed, he watched Dominic, waiting for him to speak.
“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like?” Dominic asked, unfolding his legs.
“Sex. Fornication. Intercourse. Lovemaking. Do you ever wonder what it’s like? Have you ever thought of it?” He held up a hand when Matthew started to frown again. “No, no. Honestly. Has it ever crossed your mind or am I just beating a dead horse right now?”
Matthew paused. “I don’t understand how that phrase is applicable,” his tone grew quieter. “But yes, to answer your question, I have thought of it.”
Dominic stilled the motions of his hand on the bench. “Then have you not been curious?” He returned Matthew’s stare and once again moved closer by a few inches, the priest making no indication to have noticed. He continued after a moment of no reply. “People make mistakes, Father. People are bound to mess up, to sin. It’s only human. No offense, but you might be the only priest this dedicated in all of southern England. You’ve thought about it. I can tell you’re curious, it’s so obvious. How much could it hurt to just try a little bit of experimentation? Is the guilt really all that bad? It’s just carnal desire. Nothing that could sway your love for God.”
“I-I don’t, I don’t think you understand.” Inside, Matthew was in turmoil. He was completely bewildered because he was curious; the little voice in his head was growing weaker and weaker every second. He couldn’t figure out what it was about this man that caused his judgment to waver so easily and made him want to instantly second-guess every resolution he’d ever had. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Matthew had become accustomed to advances from some of the university students he would sometimes run into at the library or at the grocers, and one time after mass a lady nearly twice his age had flirted with him quite heavily. But never had someone been so unyielding, or been another man. Thus, Matthew was at a total loss, and could not explain why his pulse was racing or why his face was so flushed.
“Then please, make me understand.” Matthew stared at him in silence for a few moments before Dominic gave a small, complacent smile. “See, Father, don’t you get it yet? There’s nothing to understand, because man was born as a sinning race. ‘Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.’” The priest raised his eyebrows at the sudden quotation from Psalms. “What? Didn’t think I was knowledgeable of the Bible?” Dominic’s lips curved into a smile once more.
“I…I didn’t expect you to, no.” Matthew gulped, the nearness of the man causing him to stutter, his nerves haywire.
Dominic moved then, pushing up until he was on his left knee, his hands flat on the bench, fingertips grazing Matthew’s thigh, and his face cast downwards. Matthew jumped slightly and thoughtlessly trailed his eyes down the straight line of Dominic’s nose and over his cheekbones, blushing when the blonde looked up to meet his stare. Dominic brought his other leg up so he was on all fours and proceeded to slide his knees forward until he was kneeling before Matthew. He slowly leaned in towards him, one hand now pressed against the wall to the left of Matthew’s head, until his lips were brushing against his earlobe.
“Who’s the ignorant one now?” Dominic whispered, his voice low.
The priest was frozen in place, shuddering at the feeling of the breath tickling his skin. Dominic’s hair brushed against his cheek and he was overwhelmed by the all-consuming scent of the man, his collar suddenly feeling much tighter than it was earlier. His mouth was dry as he tried to tell Dominic to move away, but all that came out was a feeble noise.
Matthew could feel Dominic grin as he tilted his head and gently pressed his lips against the hair above Matthew’s ear, leaving the whisper of a kiss there as he inhaled the priest.
“P-please Do-ominic.” Matthew all but begged, his voice breaking when Dominic’s other hand appeared on his left thigh, the hand that was against the wall sliding down until it was at his shoulder. Dominic dragged his lips across and down Matthew’s cheekbone, eyelashes fluttering closed over blue eyes.
Matthew’s breathing quickened when he felt Dominic’s mouth hovering over his, the blonde’s nose lightly grazing his. “Yes, Father?” His voice was deep and so quiet that Matthew almost didn’t hear him.
“Please don-” Dominic silenced the priest by closing the distance and kissed him, a small sound of surprise leaving Matthew’s throat. He brought his hands up and pushed helplessly against Dominic’s chest in an attempt to move him away, but in reply the blonde pressed harder, his tongue poking out to swipe across Matthew’s bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. Matthew exhaled sharply, his body warm, and found himself returning the kiss with inexperienced fervor.
Dominic’s hand had once again left its place and trailed from his shoulder, gently cupping Matthew’s jaw to angle his head back a little, and slid his right hand up his thigh before momentarily breaking the kiss to whisper against his mouth, “Up.” His hand curved around Matthew’s leg and pulled upwards, the priest making a confused sound in return. “Legs up. Move them.” Dominic snorted when Matthew made the noise again, and he put his weight on his knees as he leaned back and told him to bring his legs up onto the bench. Indecision flashed across Matthew’s eyes and he swallowed hard before comply, swinging his legs up and bending them at the knees.
The blonde watched with a smile before he reached out and wrapped a hand around each of Matthew’s ankles, the priest waiting in quiet bemusement, a frown threatening to tug at his lips despite the flush of cheeks and mouth. Dominic pulled and moved to sit up on his knees so that Matthew’s legs could lie flat in between Dominic’s. The blonde shuffled forward a little and sat, straddling Matthew’s lap. The priest looked up at him, his eyes wide and flooded with doubt.
“You shouldn’t be doing this.”
Dominic snorted again. “I’m not doing anything wrong, love. Besides, don’t you think it’s a bit too late for your morality to kick in considering you just gave into temptation and kissed me back?” He dragged his thumb across Matthew’s bottom lip when he grimaced in response. “‘Your own mouth condemns you, not mine; your own lips testify against you.’”
Matthew jerked a little in surprise, once again believing Dominic to be incompetent in terms of Bible verses, and kept his eyes on the blonde as he leaned down again, replacing his thumb with his mouth. This time the kiss was a smidgen rougher, Dominic nibbling Matthew’s bottom lip until he gasped and took that opportunity to slip his tongue into the priest’s mouth. Dominic swallowed Matthew’s sudden moan and smirked to himself as he pressed his hips down and ground into Matthew while he traced the roof of his mouth with his tongue.
Matthew had no idea what he was doing, and was surprised that the amount of effort it took to shut off the part of his brain that was screaming at him to stop was incredibly small. He let himself get lost in the strange sensation of another’s tongue inside his mouth and the desperate feeling of something stiff pressing against him. It took him a moment before he realized that it was, in fact, Dominic’s erection, and he was startled at how much of an effect it had on him. What was previously warmth now felt like his body was on fire, foreign desire racing through his veins as he too felt himself harden as Dominic continued to grind into him.
Both men hissed into each other’s mouth when their erections met, and Matthew opened his eyes to look at Dominic, the blonde’s dark eyelashes fluttering open as well. Dominic’s hand was clenched in the hair at the back of his head, Matthew’s own holding onto the bottom of Dominic’s shirt. “‘God has turned me over to the ungodly, and thrown me into the clutches of the wicked.’” The priest’s voice was broken and coarse as he panted slightly.
Dominic breathed out a laugh, tightening his fist in Matthew’s hair and causing him to wince slightly in discomfort. “It may be ungodly, but fuck, if it’s not more fun.”